Brooke Shaden

I recently looked back through all of my blog entries and to my surprise I had not yet written one on self portraiture. How could I have missed it while writing down dozens of essay ideas? Is this not what takes up a significant portion of my life? Did I forget about it or did I subconsciously avoid the monumental task of writing on the subject, what with so many people creating that type of art and loads more people criticizing it? Either way, I have now quieted my subconscious and picked through my brain enough to sit and write on the subject. Who better to write on it than one who has almost equal experience in shooting herself and others (well, that’s my rationalization)?

I have been quite lucky in my endeavors as a self portrait artist. Wait, “lucky” is not the right word, who believes in luck these days anyway? It’s all about creating your own path. I say this because I have not received a word of criticism about being a self portrait artist. If you look closely you can see people daily who are criticized for being narcissistic and self-indulgent. We all know the people that I’m talking about, the ones who can take basically the same picture everyday of themselves in uninteresting and uncomplicated poses while looking longingly off camera. Then there are those who are criticized for being narcissistic when they are taking genuinely interesting images. Then there are those who are criticized when they use their bodies as a means of expression. The point is, it is rare to not be criticized as a self portrait artist. Those are the easiest artists to attack. Vanity is a topic of great debate in the art world it would seem.

But I have to question the motives of those doing the criticizing. Is it really so horrible if someone takes gratuitous photos of themselves all the time? Is it really so bad if they post these images to the internet in a public forum? Is it terrible that they are trying to get attention? No, of course not, it doesn’t concern anyone who doesn’t want to be concerned with it. I think that some self portrait artists use it in this way and we would be delusional to think that vanity art does not exist. But there are so many other ways of viewing the self portrait artist, and of being one.

The main reason that I hear from people about why they take self portraits is because of the convenience factor. I can speak to this personally, as I began taking self portraits because I had no one readily available to me (trust me, I am a loner), and I was not comfortable asking models to join in my amateur photography sessions. I tried convincing my husband to let me shoot him but that request was shot down before I got the sentence out of my mouth. In fact, I think it went like this: Me – “Hey, will you…” Him – “No, I won’t model for you” Me – “Darn”.

So I began taking self portraits. It felt natural, really. I hate “having my picture taken”, but self portraiture is nothing like that. You don’t have to stand in the middle of a group of people and say “cheese”. It is a creative process, a personal process, and a very educational process as well. I remember the first time I tried it out. I was doing a shot on my bed, running back and forth between the camera and my position trying to fix my camera settings and troubleshoot while still having to remember to make the image as aesthetically pleasing with my body as possible. It created an extremely fast learning curve. I got to understand instantly both sides of the business. It was exhilarating, I loved the feeling of being 100% the creator of my art. I thought it was magical, the way I could sit at home on a Saturday night and within a couple hours have created something worthwhile, completely alone.

I encourage anyone who has never taken a self portrait to give it a try. Remember that it is not about looking good for the camera, it is about fitting yourself into the frame to make a believable image and it is about learning. “Learning”…that brings me to my next point.

I went through college thinking I was going to be a cinematographer or a director. I got on set for my first short film and I had actors to direct. I tried my best, gave them direction, but looking back on it the direction I gave them was shallow. I didn’t help them get into character. Instead, it was so mechanical: “You turn left and then throw your glass on the floor and then turn back to your first position and exit right”. Things of that nature. I wish that I had discovered self portraiture before that. I would have known so much more…

By experimenting with self portraiture you become aware of both sides of the camera. I taught myself invaluable little tricks of the trade, things that I can now tell models to be aware of when they are collaborating with me. It even taught me to use the word “collaborate” when speaking about models, as they are doing a lot of work in front of that camera! I learned how to add intensity to a pose, how to look weak, how to look downright dead…I learned what angles work without upsetting a model by showing them an unflattering image.

Now I would say that my work is half self portraiture and half with models. I realized at a certain point that I am not always the best model for my work. I do not have a photogenic face and my stature and “look” are just not right for everything. I like to use models now where I am not appropriate. I like to use models even when I am appropriate sometimes as well…

…In fact, I came to a disturbing realization the other day. I was driving down the 101 freeway in LA (well, sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic) and I was sifting my thoughts on self portraiture, even thinking of this very blog post. I was trying to think of the ways in which I would tell all of you why I love shooting self portraits and why it is my preferred method of shooting, when all of a sudden I realized that saying that would be a lie. I did not want to admit it to myself for so long, I felt that there was pride in being a die-hard self portrait artist. I felt like a sellout or something. I think that people on Flickr praise self portrait artists and generally see it as a positive rather than a negative. Even my mom commented recently that she thinks that people like my self portraits more than my model shots because people are fascinated with being able to see into the life of the photographer. But here, I’ve said it…I prefer to shoot models.

While sitting in the car forcing myself to admit this, I also thought about all the reasons why I love shooting models. First and foremost, I get to tell a model how to get into character. I get to direct them. I found that I have a huge passion for directing people. Granted, I have always been quite the little boss (Bossy Brookie, if you will), so it does not come as a surprise to me that I enjoy telling others what to do. Second, it allows me to collaborate with another artist. Most models consider themselves artists just as much as us photographers do. I have had a wonderful experience lately with model Katie Johnson that emphasizes that sort of relationship. We are working on an Ophelia series where she is the model and I am the photographer/conceptualizer. However, she shocked me with how involved and in-character she became. She began sending me loads of research that she had done on the subject, and even to go so far as to look into gender stereotypes and sexuality pre-20th century. It was damn impressive if you ask me. That is what I am talking about, the feeling that you are working in conjunction with another artist is a great feeling.

Self portraiture is an art in itself. It takes great patience and a new way of thinking all together. It is something when done with integrity should be respected. I have found that in visiting and exhibiting with galleries, they have all (really, all of them) preferred my self portraits over the model shots because they find the art fascinating. I thought it would be the other way around. I thought that I had to use a model to be taken seriously. I am pleasantly surprised thus far to find that many minds out there are wide open, and self portraiture is not only accepted but respected as an art.

Placing yourself within your own frame is historically relevant and exciting. For centuries people have practiced self portraiture, but never in such an accessible and socially conscience setting. For every self portrait I have done, I have gotten into character and that character reflects nothing from my own life. However, simply by being in the image that I am creating I am automatically adding another dimension to my art. It questions the role of the artist. It shows an artist that is fully immersed in their art, quite literally examining their own art inside and out. The self portrait artist is the omniscient narrator in a photographic story, seeing all, knowing all, controlling all. It also represents a time when artists, women especially, are not apologizing for creating what they want to create, a time when creative freedom is at its peak. Who knows, this might be that very moment in history when a creative arc is happening, and all of the self portrait artists out there can say that they were a part of it.